The following is the translation of a Chinese post at Weibo.com. Scroll down to the end of the translation for the Chinese texts in the original.
Over the past few months, many friends have reached out to ask what’s been going on—why I’ve been posting less frequently, writing fewer long pieces, and avoiding certain topics altogether. I think it’s only fair to be transparent and explain the situation.
Around this time last year, I publicly criticized the academic work of a prominent expert, Zhang Wenhong. I won’t delve into the specifics here, but the fallout was significant.
The expert’s home city of Shanghai escalated the matter to higher authorities, and I faced serious repercussions. It wasn’t just the account I used to post the criticism that was affected. Starting on January 11 of last year, all of my accounts—big and small—on platforms like Weibo, a popular Q&A site [zhihu.com], a video-sharing platform [bilibili.com], and several other domestic platforms were slapped with a 180-day ban. Effectively, I was blacklisted across the entire internet under my name and ID number.
But it didn’t stop there. In real life, they reached out to nearly every organization I had ever worked with in China, ensuring that my name wouldn’t appear in any major media outlets or newspapers during the six-month ban. Several of these organizations cut ties with me entirely, and those connections remain severed to this day. Needless to say, this had a profound impact on both my online presence and offline life.
At first, I was filled with confusion and anger. I’ve been active online since 2010, always striving to contribute positively and stay within the bounds of the law. I have no skeletons in my closet, so how could an academic debate lead to a punishment akin to what disgraced celebrities or criminals face? Over time, though, that anger gave way to fear and uncertainty. I found myself second-guessing every move, unsure of what was safe to say or do. Eventually, I came to terms with the situation. Life is full of trade-offs, and conflicts inevitably come with casualties. In a way, I’m fortunate—things could have been much worse.
I’ve done a lot of soul-searching since then. I’ve apologized sincerely to the relevant parties and made a firm commitment not to attack this expert’s work again without proper justification. Unfortunately, an account that reposted my original remarks was also penalized with a 90-day ban, which I deeply regret—I had no idea it would lead to that. As for the organizations that distanced themselves from me, I can’t entirely blame them. We weren’t close, and it wasn’t worth the risk for them to stand by me.
As for what the future holds for this account, I can’t say for sure. I’m taking things one step at a time. If my online commentary becomes less frequent or intense, I hope you’ll understand. I’m only human, prone to doubt and fear, and I still have a life to live. That said, I want to assure you all that I’ll continue to stand by my principles and fight for what I believe in, within the limits of what’s possible. I won’t let this break me.
To close, I’d like to share a few words from a great leader [Mao Zedong] that have given me strength: “Some of you may have suffered injustice or hardship. When faced with such things, you can choose one of two paths. You can let it embitter you, leaving you negative and resentful. Or you can treat it as a lesson, a form of tempering. This world is far from perfect, and absolute fairness is an illusion—now and always.”
Chinese citizen, resident of Chaoyang District, Beijing
Dai Yuxiao
January 11, 2025
过去一段时间不少朋友问我出了什么状况，怎么更新频率降低了、长篇写得少了、有些话题也不参与了，还是有必要和大伙坦诚说明一下。
去年这时候，我对某位专家的学术成果进行了攻击，具体细节在此不做详述。
后果是该专家所在城市告到上级部门对我进行了严肃处理，处理的不只是我发布内容的账号。我在微博、某问答网站、某视频网站和其他几个国内平台注册的大号小号从去年1月11日开始全部被禁言180天，基本上相当于按照姓名和身份证号全网封杀了。
另外在现实中他们派人给国内几乎所有和我有过合作关系的单位打了招呼，确保在这半年封杀期间，我的名字不得出现在国内各大媒体和报纸上。其中几个单位就此彻底切断了和我的联系，至今没有恢复。可以说对我的线上和线下生活都造成了很大的影响。
之后我思考了很多，最开始自然是不理解和愤怒，心想我从2010年开始上网以来一直尽忠报国、遵纪守法，一点黑历史都没有，怎么学术讨论就能讨论出个跟劣迹艺人和犯罪分子差不多的封杀待遇。然后开始感到迷茫和恐惧，那段时间可谓进退失据、患得患失，不知道做什么是安全的。后来时间久了也就冷静下来接受现实了。万事有得必有失，有冲突就有伤亡，本来就是你死我活的斗争，我没被物理干掉已经是不错的结果了。
针对此事我已经进行了深刻反省，对相关方面表达了诚挚的歉意，并且郑重承诺不再擅自攻击这位专家的学术成果。一个转发了我言论的账号也被「连坐」禁言了90天，这个实在是不好意思，我也不知道竟会这样。有的单位因为各方面原因断连了的，其实也不是完全不能理解，都是非亲非故的，犯不着为我插刀。
至于这个账号未来还会发生什么，我无法预料，只能说走一步是一步。如果我的键政强度有所下降，还望同志们尽量包容。我也是血肉之躯，有所惑亦有所惧，以后还得过日子的。不过我可以向大家保证，我依然会坚持原则，在力所能及的范围内继续战斗下去，绝不消极沉沦。
最后引用几句伟人的话和诸位共勉：「我想同志们中间可能也有多多少少受过冤枉受过委屈的。对于那些冤枉和委屈，可以有两种态度。一种态度是从此消极，很气愤，很不满意；另一种态度是把它看作一种有益的教育，当作一种锻炼。你晓得，这个世界就是这么个世界，要那么完全公道是不可能的，现在不可能，永远不可能。」
中国公民、北京朝阳区市民戴雨潇
2025年1月11日